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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27645599">A Court of Lies and Terror</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindofbooks/pseuds/mindofbooks'>mindofbooks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, MAAS Sarah J. - Works, Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:47:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,336</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27645599</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindofbooks/pseuds/mindofbooks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhysand is dead. The High Lords didn't bring him back. And Feyre is pregnant. With her family falling apart and the prospect of raising a child alone on the horizon Feyre struggles to cope with the loss of her mate and the weight of Prythian collapsing around her. Yet there is still that one question that remains. Is he really dead? With civil war not such a fantasy and the seasonal courts falling to pieces new friendships will be forged, old friends will be reunited and the Inner Circle will be pulled to its limits as alliances break and disaster takes hold.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elain Archeron &amp; Lucien Vanserra, Feyre Archeron &amp; Rhysand, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The days have stopped passing. Or maybe they haven't, I'm not sure anymore. It might have been hours or it might have been years since he-</p>
<p>No. I vowed to myself not to think of it. Ever. I can't.</p>
<p>Mor, Cass, Az and Amren have spent the past god knows how long downstairs just sitting there. Staring at the wall as if he is going to come sauntering out. Of course he isn't and I so desperately want to scream at them. To tell them to stop hoping. Hope left this world the moment he did.</p>
<p>But I can't. If it stops them hurting so much then I can withstand the hole in my chest. Where the bond used to be. It's as if someone has taken my soul and ripped it apart over and over, scattering the pieces to the farthest points of this universe. Hurling them into an abyss no one has dared explored and no one ever will.</p>
<p>People keep coming, apologising as if saying sorry will fix anything. As if it is their fault but all I can think about is how much I hate him. I hate him for leaving me. I hate him for tricking me. I hate him for sacrificing himself. I hate him for leaving me here, for not taking me with him wherever we go next. I know I shouldn't but I do. I need somewhere to channel my anger, where better than the source of the pain? Nesta and Elain keep coming to sit beside me, trying to get me to eat something. I would be surprised if I wasn't so caught up in the swirling maelstrom of darkness that was slowly eating its way through what little remained of my soul.</p>
<p>
  

  <b>Your support means so much to me</b><br/>
<b>Thank you Xx</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I've been vomiting every morning without fail for weeks now. I'm trying to ignore it. Trying to force it leave me, find someone else but it won't. I'm pretending that ignore the fact that I can feel the life stirring inside me because it doesn't seem fair. This shouldn't be happening, I can barely move from my bed these days. I can't do this without him and yet when I need him most he's gone. Lost in another dimension. Forever.</p>
<p>Maja keeps coming. I keep sending her away. Denying its existence won't stop it from happening but I can damn well try. Cassian and Azriel left the house today, the first of us to do so. I've been blocking out the memory of them returning and collapsing at the door, shadows almost swallowing Az whole and Cassian just sitting there, shuddering as the tears rolled down his face. The only one of us who hasn't spent each day fending off tears is Amren. She's set about getting Velaris under control, I think the work distracts her from the reality and under her graceful hand people have started coming back out into the streets. I can hear them laughing now. How can they be laughing? I can't remember the last time I so much as smiled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>Sorry it's so short but I'll hopefully getting the next chapter to you guys tomorrow<br/></b>
<br/>
<b>I do have up to Chapter 11 published on wattpad so if any of you want to read ahead it is always on there<b></b></b></p><p>
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<p>
<b>Thank you for joining me on this journey, it means the world X</b></p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maja forced her way into the house today. She sat me down on the bed and she probably would have slapped me if I hadn't been her High Lady.<br/>
"Feyre I know it hurts. I know all you want to do for the forceable future is mope around in bed all day but you can't. There are people out there who need you, good people who have no idea where to go or what to do. You made a vow as High Lady. Do not forget that vow and do not forget the child growing in you. This child is the only heir the Night Court will have. I do not care if you do not want this child you must carry him and raise him because if you do not this entire court is doomed as are you. If he were here he would be saying the same thing.<br/>
"While you have been sulking around not giving two shits about your court Prythian has been fraying at the seams so get up. Go out there and do something about it because he would never forgive you if you let this world crumble."</p><p>To be fair it was a rather spectacular speech and it did make me get up and do something. I've sent Cassian up to the Illyrian war camps to help them recover and reform. Of Maja is right it seems we are going to be needing them again soon. Azriel has sent out his shadows to each of the courts, trying to gauge just how bad the situation is and Mor has arranged to go to the Court of Nightmares tomorrow. I'm going with her. Or she's coming with me. They've been getting restless down there and I might as well try to get them on my side. Just in case.<br/>
I have yet to work up the courage to tell everyone the happy but not so happy news.</p><p>Maja works wonders on the brain, I can only hope it lasts long enough for me to actually fix myself up and convincingly pretend I'm okay.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>I think the chapters start to get longer from here, thank you for all the support, it means so much Xx<b></b></b>
</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'd forgotten how much I hate the Court of Nightmares and experiencing it alone was no fun either. I can only be glad they bowed.</p>
<p>It has been so long since I've had to put on the mask I wore today. The last time I was with-</p>
<p>Anyway, they still hadn't gotten round to finding another throne since last time so I didn't have to suffer through memories of him. Well I say that but the majestically carved throne that still sat there unchanged stirred too many memories.</p>
<p>The entire throne room was murmuring when I entered, about what I have no clue. Probably me. But they all shut up the second I entered, Mor striding alongside me, head held up high. I lounged on that throne for a good few hours finding it no trouble to touch the occasional male who stared too long with a whip of magic. They listened, they were respectful and yet it was easy to notice the difference between this time and the last. They all seemed more likely to lightly ignore me than they had him, Mor says I should be grateful they accepted me but I'm fairly sure they only do because they know the full extent of my magic and know it's dangerous to cross grieving females path.</p>
<p>No one so much spoke of him, I don't know if I'm glad of it or not. On one hand it means I didn't have to deal with it and yet it also makes me question just how much they really feared him. Something I spent the rest of the day thinking over. With no need to keep up the illusion could we really count on them to join us in this supposed war we are about to enter. It seems so stupid, we just won a war that cost us far too much but the rest of the world seems happy to start a new one a few months later. Why can't we at least have the five hundred year break they had before?</p>
<p>Az had little to report when we got back. Yes tensions were a little higher than usual and yes courts were building up their armies again but no he hadn't found any signs of unrest in the seasonal courts. He's still got shadows looking for anything but is staying at the town house with me. I don't think he bare the thought of losing someone else so has taken it upon himself to personally guard me. There is no word for Cassian yet.</p>
<p>I still have to tell them about the baby. I don't know why I'm stopping myself, Amren probably already knows, same with Nuala and Cerridwen so there's really nothing stopping me aside from my own selfishness.</p>
<p>
  <b>Chapters are starting to get longer. Slightly. I hope you enjoyed this one<br/>
Thank you for all the love Xx<b></b></b>
</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I told them about the baby. I didn't mean to, or want to for that matter but Amren stormed into my room in the middle of the night and almost yelled the house down shouting about unfair it was to keep it from them and that they needed something to get their spirits up, to make them keep fighting. Of course Cassian chose that time to come home and ran into my room to see what all the fuss was about. I told him to go and get Mor, Az, Nesta and Elain and wait downstairs then I may or may not have gotten slightly pissed off at Amren. She deserved it.<br/>
"What's wrong?" Mor's was high, panicked I realised, a tone I'd never heard from her.<br/>
"It's nothing. Well it's a lot but nothing bad, I don't think." I'm not sure that exactly reassured everyone but Amren subtly kicked me and I sighed, "I'm pregnant." There was a shocked silence as everyone just stared at me and then Azriel's face broke out into an enormous grin, I hadn't seen him smile, I hadn't seen any of them smile for months. Cassian was shaking and pretending he wasn't crying while Elain silently rubbed his back softly smiling, of course she knew, how could she not? Mor was still staring at me like she'd just seen a ghost and quietly said, "How long?" The entire room paused. Amren looked like she would punch Mor if they'd been somewhere else and I desperately tried to hide the hurt that the question caused me and said quietly, "Since before he died. If that's what you are implying." Mor nodded and replied, "I just had to make sure."<br/>
"You think I would do that? I would never Mor. Never. It has been three months and it wouldn't matter if it had been centuries. You think I could go out there and fall in love with someone else? He was my mate and I swear to you I will never love anyone else as much as I loved him. Not like that." My voice cracked on the last sentence and it took me a few seconds to realise tears were pouring down my cheeks. I didn't look at any of them as I left the room and walked out into the street, I had no idea where I was going but my feet guided me to the place I most wanted to be.</p><p>The Rainbow stood before me, the houses were still draped in the mourning black yet it still managed to give of a sense of warmth and safety. The images kept flooding towards me and I kept blocking them out, his arm around my shoulders, the promises he couldn't keep anymore, his face resting on my head as he breathed in the smell of my hair.</p><p>I turned away sharping, trying to break the onslaught and as I turned to walk away I felt a soft hand on my shoulder, a small, rather rotund female was smiling warmly at me and she said, "Just know if you ever need somewhere to come we'll all be here, our rooms are always open to you if you want to paint or just talk." She pressed a slip of paper into my hand, her address and nodded at me, "my name is Zinna, if you ever need anything just come by, okay?" I felt rather overwhelmed by the whole thing but nodded and thanked her before turning and walking back out into the streets. Cassian was waiting on the corner and said nothing as I hugged him, he gently kissed my head and wandered through Velaris with me for the entire night.</p><p>
  <b>I'm so sorry that I haven't posted the last few days, I've been really busy with school and everything and truthfully I forgot so I'll post a few chapters today to make up for it Xx<b></b></b>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took me three days before I could even look at Mor  and I spent the entire time with Cassian, I'm not sure why he's taken it upon himself to make sure I'm okay but I need a friend at the moment and Cass seems to be the only one who cares enough to spend all day with me. Azriel went back to finding out more about what's going on with the seasonal courts almost immediately after I stormed out of the house, I don't think he wanted to hang around to see if his family would fall apart or not. Cassian sent Nesta up to the Illyrian war camps to get them in order and as far as I can tell Mor and Amren have spent their time drinking away their sorrows at Rita's. So much as for deciding to be productive again.</p><p>Maja has come round every day to check on everyone who actually stays in the house and to make sure nothing is wrong with the baby. Mor came marching into the house four days after everything, pulled me up off the sofa and engulfed me in a massive hug, she was shaking and I could feel her tears seeping through my clothes, I started rubbing her back as she said over and over again how sorry she was and that she was an idiot which of course made me cry but we're good. I think.</p><p>I went to find Zinna, Cass and Mor trailing along after me and we all painted together. Mor and Cass took it upon themselves to fill an entire canvas up with stick figures, all looking vaguely like them. Seeing them laugh and smile and just having a good time cheered me up as well and I painted Nesta, Elain and I. I think I'll give it to Nesta as a thank you, I'm not sure what I'm thanking her for but she seems to be the only one of us who doesn't break down crying every few hours.</p><p>It's getting better. Well I think it is, it's hard to tell. We've all grown closer together, we've gotten to know each other better and even if he doesn't have a father my son will have a family who will love him with their entire being. I try not to think about what I will say to him when he eventually asks who is father was, what happened to him. I try not to imagine how much he will hate me when he realises that he is the soul heir to the strongest court in Prythian and that none of his family have the slightest idea of how to run it.</p><p>
  <b>Thank you for all the support this story has gained, I'm so thankful and grateful to all of you Xx<b></b></b>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Finally some good news. Well not good news but news. Azriel's shadows came back with reports. They weren't very detailed and were basically repeating stuff we'd already guessed but it's nice to have confirmation. The Seasonal Courts are having several minor uprising, some don't want humans to have any chance of crossing where the wall used to be, although the chance of that happening is about zero seeing as superstitions have grown even crazier over the last few months. And the others, well the others want their High Lords to step down and be replaced with more 'competent' leaders. Aka the violent, bloodthirsty rebellion leaders, all of whom have little to no magic and wouldn't be able to protect the courts in anyway. They have gained followers in almost every court, mainly Spring and Autumn but Winter and Summer are having problems too. Day and Dawn are doing okay, only minor unrest and according to Cassian and Az the only issue we could face in the coming months or years is the Court of Nightmares, the people of Velaris love their home too much to risk harming it and apparently a lot of them saw me on the rainbow fighting and think I'm a competent High Lady for now but Mor decided that a casual stroll through the entire city would be a good idea so we all went out, with the exception of Nesta who was still beating up the Illyrians.</p>
<p>We got lots of smiles and I received a lot of congratulations, my belly appears to have expanded slightly. It's strange how human and Fae pregnancies are the same length yet one produces ridiculously powerful and incredibly long lived creatures and the other. Well doesn't.</p>
<p>Elain accidentally took us down the street that he and I had walked down together and heard the music he had put in my cell. The same music was playing. Cassian saw the look on my face and we immediately turned around, I was almost running in the other direction, and collapsed against a wall maybe a block away but the images kept coming. The memories. I kept seeing him standing there smiling down at me. Holding me after the attack on Velaris. Starfall. The cabin. That kiss under the mountain. One thing after another. It went on and on and on. I was on the floor, shaking so hard Cassian had trouble grabbing hold of my arm to calm me down. The tears never came, maybe I'd used them all up over the past four months. I don't know but I never felt their warm kiss down my neck, probably a good thing because it would have thrown me into another rampage of memories from the cabin. I don't know how long we sat there but Cassian kept his arm around my shoulders the whole time, not complaining once as I rested my head on his shoulder, I felt my hair dampen and realised he was quietly crying with me, his wings shielded us from any curious onlookers and Mor came and sat down on my other side, her head leaning back against the wall, trying inconspicuously stop the tears from falling down her face.<br/>
Azriel took up a guard at the entrance the the street we sat on but I didn't fail to notice the consoling hand Elain put on his shoulder which were shaking ever so slightly.</p>
<p>We spent the next few days at home and Zinna came round to paint with me. I painted all of us, my family as we should be now. He was there, arms slung over Azriel's shoulder, his other hand pressed up against the slight swell of my stomach. I burnt it afterwards.</p>
<p>Zinna offers an escape from the reality of my world, she knows nothing about the war that could come or the rebellions that could shake her city's streets. She doesn't judge my every move and she is the one person I know who doesn't make me remember him.</p>
<p>The world is going to go to hell soon, it would be nice for things to be a little bit normal, even if it's only once a week.</p>
<p>
  <b>I think I will start posting a few chapters on the weekends, I am so busy with school at the moment I just can't do it throughout the week, thanks for all the support this is recieving and there is some good stuff coming soon. <b></b></b>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Five months.<br/>He's been gone for five months.<br/>I've been pregnant for five months.<br/>Little has happened the past few weeks, a few minor rebellions in the Court of Nightmares that Azriel squashed without a second thought, the rebellions in the seasonal courts have grown bigger and more violent but Day and Dawn seem to be doing relatively okay.</p><p>Zinna has been coming over almost everyday. We have long conversations and paint. The entire house is filled with our paintings. She's been trying to teach Mor how to paint too but whenever I peak my head in to their workspace they seem to be laughing and talking. And touching hands. And awful lot of touching hands. I shouldn't assume anything but I'm ridiculously happy for Mor. Even if it is nothing.</p><p>My belly has decisively popped out, it's impossible not to notice which means Cassian has decided he needs to sing, well I'm not sure you can call it singing, it's more yelling, at the bump every night for about an hour and if Mor gets drunk enough she joins in with him. I would laugh if it wasn't so embarrassing.</p><p>We've all stopped snapping our heads to the door or turning at the slightest wind and imaging he's about to appear and all of us have stopped crying ourselves to sleep every night. I've grown used to raising my child without him, Mor, Cassian, Azriel, Amren, Nesta and Elain are more than enough but it still bothers me that he never knew.</p><p>The High Lords have decided to hold a meeting in four months, the day before Starfall.</p><p>None of us have quite decided what we are going to do with ourselves when Starfall arrives. For most of us it would bring too many memories but Nesta and Elain have never experienced it. We might end up missing it anyway if the meeting goes on longer than expected. It will be my first time among the High Lords without him which doesn't exactly make me comfortable. They're bad enough usually but it's not going to be fun if I'm pregnant as well, although by then the baby may have arrived already but that brings forwards the whole logistics of if he comes with us or if someone stays behind to look after him.</p><p>It's too early to be thinking of any of this stuff anyway. We'll work it out when we work it out.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I said we'd had no riots. I meant it until a day after I said it. Azriel came running into the lounge, checks red and eyes streaming, "A few dozen Fae from the Court of Nightmares have left and come into Velaris, they started spreading rumours about our incompetence and now we have a few hundred Fae rioting in the streets outside the House of Wind.<br/>"Shit." Amren and Mor spoke at the same time, jumping up from where they were sitting next to the fire and by the time I stood up Cassian was already standing next to Azriel, strapping weapons onto his waist. I raised an eyebrow at him,<br/>"What?" There was genuine confusion in his tone which worried me slightly,<br/>"You plan to fly over to them and start killing them? I don't know if you've quite grasped the point of what they are protesting but I can assure you that many more will flood to their cause if you go in there covered in weapons." Cassian rolled his eyes but Azriel obliging threw the visible weapons he carried onto the sofa and made sure the few knives he kept hidden under his clothes were in no way visible. After a considerable pause the rest of them followed suit.</p>
<p>I headed for the door but Mor stopped me with a hand on my chest, "You are not going out there."<br/>"Why not? It's not going to help out case if their High Lady never appears."<br/>"You are pregnant."<br/>"So? As far as I can see that's no excuse for me to hide in a ditch until it's over."<br/>I went.</p>
<p>The entire street that surrounded the House of Wind was surrounded by chanting and stamping Fae, most of whom I recognised as the less charming owners of a few stores. They were red faced although I couldn't tell if it was from anger or cold. Cassian dropped me down onto a balcony that stood just above the street and then my Court of Dreams discreetly placed themselves in and around the crowd, getting themselves prepared for any conflict that could ensure. </p>
<p>The entire crowd fell silent when they saw me which rather surprised me, given that they were meant to be angry with me. <br/>"I would like to apologise to all of you, to this city, to this court for not being here for you. I have been mourning the loss of my mate just as you have been mourning the loss of your High Lord but I know that is not a valid excuse. <br/>"I have always valued honesty and I have not entirely been honest with you. The war may have been won but it is apparent that another is on the rise because of a disbelief in some of Prythians leaders. I think I speak for us all when I say that have have no wish to see a civil war come and take all that is dear to us. I understand how you all feel, I truly do, the High Lords are not all good, or kind and I know that they have sanctioned the deaths of Fae even you may know but they are powerful and they have the ability to protect their courts from the slaughter that some Fae sought after now. I know we do not have a High Lord with those powers at the moment but we will because I can assure you with my entire being that I will do everything I can to protect this court from harm until my son is old enough to take that mantle from me but I cannot do that if we are fighting amongst ourselves. <br/>"Velaris is the City of Starlight, place of peace and prosperity and we cannot threaten the safety of our children by breaking that peace." <br/>I was out of breath by the time I finished talking but I bowed my head and stepped back.</p>
<p>I'm not sure what did it, maybe the speech, maybe the bowed head that they'd only ever seen him do before but suddenly they were cheering and clapping. Azriel was suddenly at my side and he whispered in my ear, "It looks like someone just became the most popular High Lady." I glared at him,<br/>"Az, I'm the only High Lady." He just smiled and winked before lifting me into his arms and flying us back to the town house.</p>
<p>
  <b> There is going to be some serious drama next chapter, just you wait... heh<b></b></b>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The minute we got back to the town house Amren cracked open a bottle of wine, newly bought. The old ones held too many memories.</p><p>It didn't take long for Mor, Cass, Amren and Az to drink themselves into oblivion. Nesta had come back soon after we'd left and joined in with Cassian's game of who could drink the most in one go which surprised me immensely but it was nice to see her enjoying herself. Elain sat beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. I stroked her hair and seriously wished I could drink myself into oblivion but Cassian wiped away any longing thoughts when he stumbled over to me and started sloshing wine onto my stomach, insisting that the baby 'should join in the fun too' I pushed him back with a gust of wind and for good measure dumped a load of water on his head but I couldn't help laughing as I sent another wave of water to clean the wine that had begun to stickily dry to me.</p><p>"It's nice to see that my absence hasn't changed anything."</p><p>I've never seen anyone sober up so fast. Or for the feeling of an entire room drop as quickly as it did then. Cassian fell backwards onto a chair that nearly splintered under the sudden weight, Mor was leaning against the wall, grasping for the mantle above the fireplace, The bottle Amren was holding crashed to the floor and Azriel was standing utterly straight, not moving a muscle, his shadows whipped around the room which was sign enough of his anger and stress.</p><p>I stood up and turned around to face him. Gods he looked exactly the same, his hair ruffled, his clothes torn but still managing to look clearly and his eyes. Those violet eyes stared straight at me. I didn't know why I was angry, I didn't know why everyone in the room was angry but all I felt at that moment was a deep unending anger. <br/>"Get out." <br/>His wings had ripped free and I tried to not think about the extreme emotions he was feeling for him to loose control like that,<br/>"Feyre-" The same voice he'd used when I left him in the mud, so angry. The same anger I felt now.<br/>"Get. Out." My voice was trembling and I could feel his eyes piercing into me, I could feel him glance at my belly but he didn't move.<br/>"I told you get out of my house you bastard." I was screaming by the end of it, my entire body heaving with sobs but the part of my mind that was still so incredibly angry chose the words that I knew would hurt him most. My house. Bastard, the name his father used to call him. <br/>He stumbled. The same way he had stumbled the first time he truly realised we were mates. But he left. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't.</p><p>As soon as the door closed behind him Azriel was there, his arms tightly wrapped around me, his shadows receding back into him. I was surprised he was able to stand with the force of my shaking but I could feel the dampness of his tears against my hair, this hug wasn't just for my benefit. Somewhere behind me Cassian smashed a glass against the wall and Nesta said something sharp to him which made both he and Mor intake a breath. Elain came up behind me and began gently stroking my back, trying to calm the heaving sobs that wouldn't stop coming.</p><p>I don't know how long we stayed like that, Azriel holding me, Mor and Cass gripping each other's hands and Elain lightly stroking my back and Amren sitting on the couch, her eyes closed and her hands to her head but eventually the tears subsided and we all found the strength to move to the dining room where Elain gathered up a load of bread and cheese, laying it out before us. Nuala and Cerridwen were leaning against the opposite wall holding each other tightly. They had been coping okay the last five months and I pretended not to notice them occasionally clutching each other.</p><p>We stayed up all night, silent except for the occasional smudge of talk.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Feyre you cannot fly all the way to the cabin." Cassian sounded extremely pissed off but then again he had been using that tone for the past day no matter what was happening,<br/>"He will be there, trust me and I can't winnow while I'm pregnant so I have to fly." I sighed as I buttoned up my coat, "Cassian please, I have to know where the hell he was that he thought he could put us through that."<br/>"At least let Mor or Az winnow you, that's allowed right? It's a good days flight and who knows how much harm that will do the baby." He made some annoyingly valid points and I nodded my head, "Mor can winnow me but she is not allowed to come with me. This is between me and him for now." Cassian half heartedly agreed to that and Mor lightly held my hand as she winnowed us to just outside the magical borders of the cabin, we turned to see smoke winding its way up the chimney and I said, "He better not be making soup." Mor raised an eyebrow at me in question but I just shook my head and started forwards, "If I somehow get a valid reason out of him then he can winnow me back, if not come back in a day." Mor nodded and began to winnow away and as she did she said, "Don't keep anything from him, I don't care how much pain it causes him I doubt it will compare to what we felt." I smiled softly and gave a slight nod of my head before I continued walking up towards the cabin.</p><p>The door was open and when I stepped inside I saw him sitting in the same chair he had sat that first time and I suddenly felt that old raging anger pouring back into me. He didn't turn his head when he asked, "What are you doing here?" His voice was flat and I could swear I heard anger in there but I managed to keep my voice vaguely calm when I replied, "I only have one question I want you to answer. Where the fuck could you have been that you can possibly condone to the past five months?" He didn't answer immediately and when he did I would have punched him if he wasn't my mate, "Feyre please let it rest, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."<br/>"I wouldn't believe you? Is that what you think of me? You honestly believe that I wouldn't take whatever you told me and hold onto it for dear life because even if I don't understand it I have no choice but to believe it because it is an explanation for months of pain." He turned around then, his eyes sad and his wings shifting slightly, "Feyre I understand how you feel-" I laughed then and it was a harsh sound,<br/>"You understand do you? No you do not, you will never understand. I was gone for a minute. With me you didn't think of me dead for more than a few seconds. You didn't have to put down your own grief to stop your family breaking down. You didn't have to go to the library and tell the priestess' that their High Lord was dead and then have them stop functioning before your eyes. You didn't have to see Cassian and Azriel come home shaking from wherever they'd been because of the memories. You didn't break down in a side ally because the sound of music was too much for you. You didn't have to see Nuala and Cerridwen crouching in a corner together, barely able to even stop themselves turning to smoke and I can promise you that you did not stay up every night wondering how you were meant to raise a child without their father, how you were going to explain to your son that his father decided his life wasn't good enough for this world so he sacrificed his life and left his entire court in near ruins because they had no one left to protect them." I didn't care that I saw the tears leaking down his face, "You do not get to tell me you understand when you have no idea."</p><p>He stayed silent and I could almost see the cogs of his brain turning and in all honesty it's impossible to stay mad at a person you love with your entire being, "Rhys. Please." My voice broke on the last word and I just managed to stop the tears flowing from my eyes and I realised it was the first time I'd said or even thought name since he had not quite died.</p><p>"I was stuck."<br/>"Stuck. You were stuck for five months." <br/>"It wasn't stuck in a cave sort of stuck it was stuck in another world sort of thing."<br/>"In another world. You were stuck in another world." I couldn't tell if I was angry or disbelieving or relived, my entire brain was firing at a hundred miles an hour, other worlds, I knew they were real but it felt strange to hear someone say it.<br/>"It's why the other High Lords wouldn't have been able to bring me back, my soul was quite literally tumbling through worlds and when it landed in one my body would have faded from this world and joined my soul in the other world. There was a Queen there and she said I had saved her life once which I guess is going to happen at some point in the near future." I raised an eyebrow in question, "Her world is a few decades ahead of ours and she said she had been tumbling through the worlds once and she'd seen me standing next to a heavily pregnant female and slowed her fall." <br/>"So that's why you didn't exactly look surprised."<br/>"I wasn't expecting you to be pregnant yet but I knew it could be a possibility."<br/>"So this Queen helped you get back to our world to repay a debt you have yet to give." I nodded slowly, "I guess we'll find out if it's true in a few months." <br/>"We?" I gave a slight nod of me head.<br/>"When we get back to Velaris you are going to tell everyone the truth and then you are going to go to the library and apologise to the priestess' and then you are going to go out into Velaris and apologise to everyone you see and then you will come back home and I will catch you up on everything you have missed and then we are going to come up with an incredibly good reason to tell the other High Lords oh and you have to swear I get to name the baby and any future children." His smile was enormous and he said softly, "I think I can do that." I smiled back at him and said quietly, "To the stars that listen." His soft grin could have melted even the coldest heart and he replied, "And the dreams that are answered."</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rhys was fiddling, I'd never seen him fiddle before. I told him to wait outside and while I went into the town house.</p><p>They were all waiting, backs straight and looking extremely nervous. Their heads snapped towards me the moment I entered and relaxed slightly.<br/>"Well?" Cassian's voice was almost shaking, I couldn't tell if it was from anger or worry.<br/>"He has a reason. A good one which I personally believe. He is not asking for forgiveness he's just asking that you listen and try to understand."<br/>"And what do you think?" Mor's voice was bland.<br/>"He was crying. That's enough to tell me that he in no way meant it and, it's going to take a while for all of us, I think it's best for us to not hold grudges for something he has no control over. We cannot afford to let our family fall apart from within, not while we have a possible civil war on our hands."<br/>Amren nodded sharply from the corner and Nesta and Elain quietly left the room.</p><p>Rhys came in and sat down on one of the armchairs next to the fire. His wings were splayed out behind him and his hair and clothes were ruffled. No one talked. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'm not sure about you but in my experience for someone to converse they have to talk," I snapped a finger in Rhys' face, "and look at each other." They still didn't move and I sent a gust of wind to get Rhys up and out of his chair, "Rhysand stop being all guilt ridden and shit, now is not the time for that and honestly it is disconcerting to have you not at least vaguely smirking," his eyes were staring at the floor, "I know there are some very interesting stains on the floor but you are going to go sit on the sofa. Facing your family and you are going to stop moping and explain to them, the same way you did to me but with less tears, where you were and you are not going to ask them to forgive you and then we can go discuss how to keep this court running." He smiled slightly at that and slowly went to sit on the sofa and then I turned to the rest of my family, "You guys are going to listen. You are not going to judge him until he's finished and you are not going to interrupt him until he is finished. If I hear so much as a mutter from you I will come back and pummel your asses until they are as flat as pancakes." Azriel smirked slightly at that and I pointed at him and mouthed 'shut it.'</p><p>Rhys grabbed my arm as I passed, "Where the hell are you going?" <br/>"You are not three Rhys, you are perfectly capable of having this conversation without me holding your hand besides this is something between you and your friends of five hundred years. It is not my place to be here." He didn't say anything but his hand stopped holding me so tightly and I slipped out of the room.</p><p>Elain and Nesta were waiting for me in the garden and I collapsed into the arms Elain held open for me. I didn't cry but Elain still murmured into my hair, rubbing my back lightly and Nesta even placed a light hand on my arm. I slapped myself, "Sorry. Gods I've hardly spoken to you. How are you?" Elain smiled,<br/>"I've decided to stop being attracted to Azriel." I raised and eyebrow at that, and Elain shrugged, "We don't match, it would never work out and besides I'm obviously not his mate. He's got someone out there once he stops staring at Mor every second of the day which will hopefully be soon if he sees how much Mor and Zinna care about each other." <br/>"Mor and Zinna? By the cauldron I didn't think they were serious." She patted my arm and I turned to Nesta, "Have you decided to accept your attraction to Cassian then?" Nesta spit out the water she'd been sipping and screeched, well kind of a quiet screech, "I am not attracted to that asshole and I never will be. Cease your matchmaking before you regret it." I smirked and winked at Elain but said nothing more of it.</p><p>We sat there for the better part of an hour before Nuala came out and murmured in my ear, "They're finished." Her expression didn't look promising.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
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    <p>"What the hell happened?" Cassian was being held down by Azriel and several glasses were smashed on the floor.<br/>"Cassian and Mor decided they didn't like Rhysand's excuse." <br/>"It is pitiful. As if we are going to believe that." Cassian spat on the floor and Azriel gave him a warning look. I laughed then, a harsh, unforgiving laugh,<br/>"I cannot believe you. You shouldn't give a shit where he was if you aren't going to believe him. Family does not judge. Family does not stop believing. Family trusts. I don't know what you can possibly think would give you an excuse to behave like this." I was almost shouting, I silently told Rhys to go and be somewhere else, preferably talking with the priestess' or something and waited until he left the house.<br/>Mor opened her mouth to say something but I held up a hand to silence her, "You should be ashamed. Yes we went through incredible amounts of pain but that does not mean you get to push what he went through aside. Maybe we can't be so sure where he was or what happened but we do not get to judge what he went through unless we went through it with him, which we did not. We should be with him, we should be glad that he is alive not pushing him away for something he did not mean to do. You are meant to be his family, you supported him through everything for 500 fucking years but this is where you draw the line? This is where you tell yourselves that he isn't worth your love? <br/>"My son will not live in a world where his family hate each other over nothing."<br/>Azriel interrupted then, "Nothing, you think this is nothing?"<br/>"I am not finished. Yes it is nothing compared to what is coming. Five months means nothing if we are going to spend the next cauldron knows how long at war. We know what it feels to loose him and that is about to become a very real option in the near future so you are going to go out there. You are going to spend time with him like you used to, like nothing has changed and you are going to heal the wounds you have all inflicted upon each other and then I expect you to come back and clean up the mess you have made." It felt good telling them what to do and I smiled slightly as Cassian hung his head and Amren stepped out of the shadows to file them all out of the house.</p>
<p>They were gone well into the night but all seemed to be in a better mood when they got back, Cassian even offered Rhys a small smile. I rolled my eyes and led Rhys back up to our room and sat him down on the bed and talked before he could open his mouth, "I do not want to know how it went. That is between you but I assume the entirety of Velaris knows you're alive?" He smirked and nodded,<br/>"It was rather dramatic but I managed not to get stabbed." I glared at him and continued,<br/>"The High Lords have called a meeting to take place in four months but they have yet to set a time or place although I would highly recommend the House of Wind or the Palace seeing as I either will have just given birth or will be about to and I do not plan on missing this meeting."<br/>"And the meeting is on..." I ignored the smugness of his tone,<br/>"There are have been several uprisings throughout the courts, mainly in the seasonal courts but they have been taking place everywhere. We've had a few from the Court of Nightmares but they were easily handled and there was one in Velaris which was, well it required some 'epic speeches' in Cassian's words but we won't be getting any more for a while. Hopefully." <br/>Rhys laughed and said, "I never thought of you as one for epic speeches, it seems you are going to be gathering our people together from now on." I pointed a finger at him,<br/>"Don't even think about it. Maybe in a few hundred years but you have all the experience." He flicked my nose and I carried on slightly awkwardly, "Anyway these rebels are unhappy with the amount of power the High Lords hold over them, they believe they should run the courts, I completely see their point but they fail to realise just how screwed we would all be if the High Lords powers were no longer protecting us." Rhys nodded thoughtfully and then sighed, "My brain is not up to strategy planning at the moment, we can wait until the meeting is closer but we do need to come up with something to tell the other High Lords to explain everything. If my own family won't believe me then I doubt they will."<br/>"You were seriously injured but not as we first thought, dead and we have no told any one that you were alive because there was still high possibility of you not surviving until now." I had spent the last however many hours coming up with several ideas but this one had seemed the best. Rhys agreed to it and said we could write the letters up tomorrow after he went down to the library. </p>
<p>We sat in silence for a while until Rhys suddenly asked, "Why won't they understand?" It felt strange to have him asking me the kind of questions I had once asked and I paused for a few moments before replying,<br/>"We all thought you were dead. We spent months trying to get on with life and just as things were starting to become normal again, well as normal as they could be and then you showed up and started acting as if nothing had happened and as much as you might wish it there is not bond connecting you to them that lets them know you are telling the truth." I shrugged, "give them time, they just spent months without you there, they need to time adjust to you being back." He nodded and swallowed slightly and then wrapped his arms around me, I stiffened slightly but almost immediately relaxed. </p>
<p>We stayed there for most of the night.</p>
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  <b>I am so sorry I haven’t updated for AGES but I am just going to catch this up to where it is on WattPad because I am in the middle of a slump for this particular fic which ACOSF will hopefully get me out of so yeah also thank you for nearly 1k hits!!!!<b></b></b>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I jolted up, gasping for air and shivering, with grief, fear or cold I did not know. In the two months since Rhys' return I had barely had any nightmares, that seemed to have changed. </p><p>Rhys was upright and sitting next to me, rubbing my back and not saying anything, he knew well enough what had happened in my dream, or rather the moments I had been reliving. Cassian came rushing into our room, as he had done when there was no one else to comfort me but he saw Rhys there and backed out, wearing a strained smile on his face.</p><p>Relationships seemed to be improving, at least from what I could tell which was not a lot seeing as they tended to avoid each other for the most part. I couldn't figure out their feelings, not that I usually could but it felt strange for tensions to be so high in a place that used to feel safe and secure, somewhere we could all come without the feeling of being judged.</p><p>We headed downstairs together, the sun only just peeking over the horizon, to find a letter on the table. I let Rhys pick it up and read it while I collapsed onto the couch, one hand on my belly. I didn't like the look on his face as he turned to face me<br/>"The High Lords have requested that the meeting take place sooner than expected because of rising tensions and fears among their courts and they want it to take place in one of the seasonal courts seeing as they are were the majority of the problem lies." I groaned and pushed myself up into a sitting position, <br/>"I don't particularly give a shit about when it happens, however I'm going to have to insist that it takes place here, I don't think anyone would find it particularly pleasant if I gave birth in a different court." My mate gave one of his half smiles and said he would write to the High Lords and  insist that the meeting take place in our palace, for the sake of the benevolent and wonderful High Lady of the Night Court. I stuck my tongue out at him and went off to paint with Zinna.</p><p>The painting sessions continued to take place once a week, sometimes more and Zinna and Mor's classes had continued as well and they only seemed to take longer each time. I decidedly didn't mention it to either of them but I am fairly sure they both recognised the facts of why I often went off on... inspiration walks. </p><p>After painting, where I had a nice conversation with Zinna about babies who is aunt to two small kids, something very rare among Fae, I went off to watch Cassian and Nesta train, something which had started occurring recently and there was a rule I had to be there to stop Cassian from getting any ideas, something which I found highly amusing and I could tell Nesta was mortified to ask me but she had been desperate enough to crack her shell, just slightly. Elain was also there and Az was stepping her through some basic training. I could tell she was trying very hard to ignore what he looked like, shirt off and rather impressive muscles gleaming with sweat. I couldn't help but wink at her and the look she gave back at me told me enough about what she thought of it. </p><p>Amren and Mor were busily having a drinking contest when we got back which Az, Cass and Rhys all happily joined in with. Nesta sat to the side looking like she desperatley wanted to join but couldnt bear the thought of sitting anywhere in the vicinity of Cassian while drunk and Elain sat with me, murmuring sweet nothings to my belly which both Rhys and I found highly amusing.</p><p>The High Lords reply came a week later, yes they would agree to meet at the Palace however the meeting would take place in two days. And they were all attending. Rhys sighed and set the letter down, "No escaping Tamlin or Beron it seems." I nodded and Rhys wrapped his arms around me, the only comfort he would be able to provide. I was not looking forwards to the next few days.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
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    <p>I knew Rhys was up on the roof the moment I woke up. I pulled on a night robe and walked up into the night, shivering at the cold. </p><p>He was standing there, hands in his pockets, head tilted back and no wings. He barely moved as I came to stand beside except to put his hand around my waist. One hand resting on my belly. We stayed there, standing in silence for a few moments before he suddenly spoke, "I used to look out at the stars and imagine what you were doing, you and everyone else. Sometimes I stayed out the entire night, wondering if I would ever get home." I nodded against his shoulder,<br/>"I did the same although I think Maja might just have killed me if I stayed out in the cold all night." He laughed at that and let his head rest on top of mine. I sometimes forgot how much taller he was than me, how much longer he had lived.</p><p>"Is everything ready for tomorrow?" Tomorrow, or today really, the meeting. Rhys nodded,<br/>"We have the grandest rooms in the palace ready and Amren went and chose the most extravagant room for the meeting," He winked at me, "We wouldn't want to look boring would we? We have Thesan's palace to rival." I elbowed his ribs and was about to say something when his head suddenly snapped up and I turned to look at what he saw, a shooting star was hurtling through the sky, faster than I thought possible. Rhys' hand raised, almost in greeting and I physically felt his power pouring out of him as he sent it crashing into the star, no, not a star. A Fae, a female Fae. She slowed and then just as suddenly as she had appeared, she was gone.</p><p>Rhys was smiling and said quietly, "My debt is payed." I looked at him, the question dancing in my eyes,<br/>"Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius. Soon to be Queen of Terrasen alongside her consort Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius." <br/>"She's the person who helped you come back?" Rhys nodded and lifted me up off my feet and winnowed us back to our room. He set me down on the bed, "Please, tell me about their world." He raised and eyebrow in question, "If we are going to find a way there one day then I want to know everything I can." He grinned at that and sat down beside me,<br/>"On their continent, Erilia, human and Fae live side by side. The Fae there all have the ability to shift between a Fae and human form. Her court is made up of a few Fae who all used to serve a Valg Queen called Maeve,"<br/>"Valg?"<br/>"They were... demons of a sort, from another world, to be honest it sounds similar to what little we know of Amren's world. Anyway, human and Fae were separated ten years ago when a Valg infested king took away magic from Erilia but Aelin, her court and some friends found a way to get it back, there was a war with many losses and in the end. Well happily ever after, they hope."<br/>"They hope?" Rhys sighed,<br/>"They banished their gods, locked them out of their world, the gods were all to happy to go. Well most of them, they are all powerful beings and there is still some worry that the gods will find a way to break back into their world and wreak havoc." I looked at Rhys and released a big sigh,<br/>"You promised that if they ever came back we would go back and help them if you ever found a way to open some kind of semi permanent portal to their world." Rhys nodded, looking slightly embarrassed, but I just patted him on the back and told him that we would see what we could do, he kissed me then, fierce and passionate and I smiled against his mouth but just then Cassian came bursting into our room, "Come on, where the fuck do you think you've been? The High Lords are going to be here soon, you need to stop looking like dishevelled pigs and get ready." He slammed the door closed again, most likely about to go and slap Mor until she woke up. She sleeps like the dead.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
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    <p>The dress that I had chosen for the meeting was a gorgeous dark, sparkling gown. It was covered in dark obsidian beads, so small they were barely visible apart from a slight twinkle when I moved, it fell to the floor and had obviously been made for Fae late in pregnancy. The shoulders had extraordinarily thin armoured plates on them, embossed with the Night Courts signature three mountains and stars and they led back into a thick, impossibly dark cloak. My hair fell loosely onto my shoulders, farther down my back than it had been the last time I'd properly dressed up, dark crystals were entwined through it and my crown sat there, gleaming in the early morning sun. Mor had dressed in an incredible floor length red gown with impossible amounts of tulle, gorgeous blood red embroidery crept up from the bottom of the dress and gathered at her corset. She looked incredible and I told her so but she just smiled and gestured towards Amren, Nesta and Elain. Elain was wearing a dark pink dress that had darker flowers mixed in and her hair had been spun up into a bun and decorated with flowers, Nesta was wearing a gorgeous dark blue jumpsuit, her shoulders were covered in sequins that rose up to her neck, her hair was plaited back and silvery stones had been mixed in, I couldn't help but smile, she looked every inch the warrior but it was Amren who caught my eye.<br/>She was wearing the summery Night Court style, flowing trousers and shirts that matched her perfectly. She look beautiful but I decided against commenting considering the death glare she was giving me. <br/>Rhys, Cassian and Azriel had all settled for clothes that looked suspiciously similar to what they had worn the last time. I rolled my eyes and snorted,<br/>"What? It's not like we've had the time to get something fitted," Cassian protested, "Unlike you we do not have an endless wardrobe, I swear you wear something different everyday." Mor elbowed him and then took his arm preparing to winnow. I smiled at all of them, my family and one by one they disappeared. Azriel first with Elain and Amren, then Mor, Cassian and Nesta until it was just Rhys and me. He smiled down at me, "It will be fine, besides there are rumours that Viviane has convinced Kallias to make her his High Lady." I snorted and said,<br/>"Took her long enough." Rhys laughed and kissed me before winnowing us to the palace.</p><p>Amren really had picked out the most incredible room for the meeting. An enormous window looked out over the Illyrian mountains, a view I could have spent an entire human lifetime painting and yet never get right. The ceiling was domed, a mix of dark and light stones and several dozen gorgeous seats where carved into the walls around the room and in the centre of the room lay an enormous carving of Prythian, etched into the floor, with mini mountains rising up and crevices dipping back into the stone. It was truly incredible.</p><p>Helion was the first to arrived along with his small escort, he came up and slapped Rhys on the back, murmuring something that made my mate smile, he saluted to the rest of our court and winked at Mor before making his way over to me and kissed me on the cheek saying as he did so, "Looks like you're about to pop." I gave him a friendly whack on the arm and pointed to a few seats, telling him to sit. Thesan and Kallias arrived together and Viviane and Mor fiercely embraced while her mate slightly awkwardly greeted Rhys. Thesan mentioned how beautiful the palace was and smiled to all of us, his lover keeping close to his side as they went to sit. </p><p>One by one the others, Tarquin's greeting was warm enough and when Varian walked through the door, for the first, and probably the last, time I saw Amren brush and he blew a kiss in her direction. Beron and his several sons filed through the door, Lucien was not among them but Eris was there and made sure to smirk in Mor's direction. Azriel and Cassian snarled slightly but stayed where they were and finally, after maybe two hours everyone was sat down, apart from Tamlin who, as per usual, felt the need to make a dramatic entrance.</p><p>Thanks to the considerably more powerful wards he was not able to winnow directly into the chamber as he had last time but he did, of course, kick the doors open, snarling and Lucien followed behind him, more subdued and he at least made sure to smile in Elain's direction. I pretended not to notice the slight colour creeping into her cheeks. </p><p>His eyes went straight to my belly and he snorted softly, "It seems you wasted no time getting yourself pregnant while your mate was... incapacitated." I didn't even have time to process the words before Cassian was out of his seat, pinning the High Lord of Spring against the wall. I stayed where I was for a moment before standing up and striding over to him. A light touch on Cassian's shoulder was all it took for him to back away to my side and Tamlin sneered at him. He tried to move forwards but my magic held him tightly against the war and I smiled at him, a sickly sweet smile laced with malice, "Might I remind you that this is my court, I have total control as to what happens to you here and in all honesty I don't give a shit whether or not you are a High Lord, if you ever imply something like that again I will make you wish it was Amarantha who was ripping you apart." I let him go then and turned my back on him then, possibly the stupidest thing I could do but I did it anyway.</p><p>I didn't sense his magic lashing out towards me until I was slammed back into the wall and he growled into my ear, "You do not tell me what to do you whore." The entire chamber was pitched into darkness. Rhysand losing control. There was just enough light to see his wings rip free, his clothes changing from the formal suit to his usual battle attire as he stalked towards Tamlin. I slid to the floor breathing hard but was forced to push myself up when I realised Rhys had no intention of stopping. I let out a swathe of soothing light to battle against the rising darkness of the room. After a few moments he let the darkness recede and we were all left there looking thoroughly shocked. </p><p>I took a deep breath and sent a punch of wind to knock Tamlin back into his chair and smiled. "Well now that the usual welcome is over I realise we have some congratulations in order, it seems I am no longer the only High Lady. Trust me Viviane, it's worse that it's sounds." We smiled at each other and she gave me a small nod of thanks. One of Beron's sons muttered something under his breath and I turned a sharp gaze towards him, "Have you got something to add?" He said nothing and after a second or two of awkward silence I let out a wry smile, "I thought so. Now onto the matter at hand, I hear you have all been having some trouble with unhappy citizens." Tarquin laughed and said,<br/>"I would hardly call it 'trouble'. Several hundred of Fae have died because of it, whether with the cause or not they have been caught up in riots because of us."<br/>"It is not because of us. Our subjects have no right to be rebelling, they owe everything to us." Beron shot back, and Tarquin let out a harsh laugh,<br/>"So you believe they have no cause to be unhappy that a group of seven Fae have complete control over them and that some of those Fae are not the nicest of people." Helion was nodding as was Thesan but Kallias, Tamlin and Beron were glaring at the High Lord of Summer. It seemed the courts were already divided. Rhys opened his mouth to say something, probably sarcastic but a sharp pain suddenly lanced through me and I grunted slightly, my shields were obviously open because Rhys' head whipped to me and he'd obviously said something directly into the rest of the courts heads because Cassian abruptly stood up and clapped his hands, "As lovey as this has been there is a family issue that needs attending to. Rooms have been prepared for you, feel free to stay or go home, everywhere is open to you but I would suggest not going downstairs, the only people they respect down there are us so you may be ripped to pieces and try not to cause any trouble. This meeting will resume in a day or two." Beron opened his mouth to complain but Eris clasped his shoulder and murmured something in his which made him shut up. As Cassian was making his rather long speech Rhys and I were slowly walking out of the room with Mor, Azriel, Nesta, Amren and Elain closely following. We winnowed as soon as we got out of the room, Mor to get Maja and the rest of us to the Town House.</p><p>Giving birth is not a fun prospect.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
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    <p>I double over as we reached the door and Rhys reached out to stabilise me, "You know if anyone told me it would hurt this much I would never have done it." My mate chuckled beside me as he helped me up to our room. Maja was waiting for us there, she checked me over and tutted, "Tamlin's... use of magic... probably kickstarted the labour but even if he hadn't you would have gone into labour over the next few days anyway but I'm going to have to have a word with him." I tried not to smile at the thought of Maja shouting at Tamlin, something made easy as another contraction burst through my body. I gripped the edge of the bed and breathed hard. </p><p>When I turned around I saw my entire family crowded in the doorway and I glowered at them, "Last time I checked I wasn't a fucking exhibit. Get out. I'll try not to die while you're gone." Cassian sniggered but Mor elbowed him and glared at me, "You are not going to die." <br/>"Oh I'm sorry would you like to take over? I'm sure you'll have a lovely time being ripped apart." I couldn't help the sarcasm and apparently it stopped Mor worrying because she smiled and shoved everyone downstairs. </p><p>Only Rhys and Maja remained, and they gave me a reassuring smile. </p><p>Cassian</p><p>Hours. We had been down here for hours. Every few minutes a low groan would ricochet through the house followed by either Maja or Rhys' voice telling our High Lady it was going to be okay. It certainly didn't sound like it from down here.</p><p>Eventually Maja came downstairs, a grim smile on her face and she spoke before any of us could even open our mouths, "The child will be fine, he's a healthy boy, looks just like his father however I'm not so sure about Feyre. She's very young, especially for a Fae, to be giving birth and her body still remembers being human meaning she went through a lot more pain than the average birth. She bled, a lot. I'm hoping she'll be fine but there are no certainties." We all looked at each other, the alarm clear in our eyes but Maja stopped us from going upstairs just yet. <br/>"Whisky is in the cabinet." Mor whispered from where she sat on the floor, Nesta stood up to go and get it and she was clearly trying not to look incredibly worried as she poured everyone a glass, even Elain who usually avoided any sort of drink like the plague. </p><p>I don't know how many hours passed in silence but we finally heard footsteps coming down the stairs and Rhys appeared in the doorway, in his arms lay the tiniest thing I had ever seen, I'd never seen my High Lord prouder, not even when Azriel had first flown and his bright smile made up everything that he had ever done wrong.<br/>"Feyre will be fine, her magic saved her but there should be no lasting effects," the babies wings flickered in and out of existence and I saw Azriel smile, "His name is Kato, Kai for short." Mor let out a joyful laugh, full of relief and she walked over to her cousin, gently taking Kai from his arms and rocking him gently and murmuring cauldron knows what in his ear. She came and sat next to me and I couldn't help the enormous grin that spread across my face, "I would say we should have a drink in your honour but I'm afraid all the good stuff is gone, besides your mother would throw me in the Sidra if she ever heard that I'd let you drink." I winked at him and the baby squirmed slightly, his wings disappearing.</p><p>"I heard that. And I swear if any of you bring a drop of alcohol within ten feet of him before he turns 18 I will murder you." Feyre was leaning against the wall, looking incredibly pale but not quite dead. I just smirked at her and gave a promising smile to my nephew. He reached out for his mother and she came over and gently removed him from Mor's arms. She went and sat in an armchair by the fire and Elain came to sit by her feet. Nesta was sitting in the other armchair and none of us failed to notice the slight smile that she let through that ever cracking mask. </p><p>Once she was settled Feyre said, "Right you are going to have to tell me how the hell Fae kids grow up because I am finding this entire process extremely confusing. I huffed a laugh and leaned forwards, "We grow up like mortals until around twenty, give or take and then if we have any magic it will fully kick in, giving us our long lives. We have a small portion of our magic as we grow to ensure we don't die or get injured too badly but our first twenty years are the most dangerous for us." My High Lady nodded and yawned,<br/>"Seems vaguely simple. Ugh trust me I am waiting a good few decades before I do this again. How the Lady of Autumn did it seven times in a couple of hundred years I have no clue." Rhys stood behind her massaging her shoulders and popped a kiss on her head before saying,<br/>"My mate has decided that the meeting will commence again tomorrow, don't give me that look Amren I said the same that you are about to say, all of the High Lords decided to stay here and none of them have left the palace. Kai will stay here with Nuala and Cerridwen but we will try and keep the meeting as short as possible, hoping that another fight doesn't immediately break out and by the end of it we will either be happily united and figured out a way to stop the revolts or we will have started a civil war." He said it so cheerily that it took a few moments to understand what he was saying but Feyre rolled her eyes and grumbled,<br/>"No need to put it so bluntly." She offered a reassuring smile to everyone in the room and then stood up, "Right, things to do, places to be, meetings to plan and civil wars to stop. Let's get to it."</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
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    <p>Rhys and I lounged in the seats, waiting for the High Lords to deign to arrive, I tried not to look like I was in pain but from the way my mate kept looking at me I was quite obviously failing. I felt his presence outside my shields and I opened them slightly to let him talk, Keep your shields open. I glared at him and said Don't go all noble on me, I'm fine. He laughed out loud and Cassian looked over at us and sighed to which Rhys responded by flipping him off and turning back to me, I'm trying to give you some dignity, I'm not sure about you but I wouldn't want to sit through a meeting with the most powerful people in the world and spend the entire time wincing, any form of weakness won't be appreciated by them. I actually whacked him then and hissed Giving birth is not a weakness, it is a natural life process for females. <br/>Well I'm afraid they won't see it that way and I know you wouldn't want your precious pride to be ruined in such a manner. I seriously thought about dumping a bucket of water over his head and then throwing him off the balcony but I just sighed and left my shields slightly open, allowing him to take some pain into himself. I pretended not to notice that he shifted uncomfortably or that he was taking a lot more than needed but I did inch my shields slightly closer together, stopping him from drawing much away.</p><p>We sat there for another few minutes until Helion, Tarquin, Thesan, Kallias and Viviane walked in, followed by their excessive escorts. They said nothing as they sat down, undoubtedly having realised the 'family emergency' as soon as I had stood up. We sat in an awkward silence, waiting for Beron and Tamlin to arrive.</p><p>They did so together, two hours later. I'd very almost up and left the room, I'd been away from Kai for to long and the cauldron damned meeting hadn't even started yet. Rhys could feel my impatience and he patted my knee gently which earned a sneer from Tamlin as he and Lucien sat down heavily on the opposite side of the room. <br/>"Nice of you to join us. Now let's make this quick, we all have more interesting places to be." Rhys' voice had reverted to the cold mask he used to wear and a sent a soothing wave down the bond which made him relax, slightly. Beron began,<br/>"These rebels need to be put down and made an example of, if they are allowed to continue then soon all of Prythian will have joined them."<br/>"The fact that you believe people will join them says enough about their motives." I said quietly.<br/>"And what is that? Feyre." I snarled at him and said sharply,<br/>"You have only proved to point out that there is something wrong with the way things are run here. If you are so worried about your people murdering you then maybe you should be changing the way you are ruling, not adding to your... reputation." Tarquin, Helion and Thesan were nodding along and the High Lord of Summer said, "She's right, the fact that they are even rebelling says something about the way we do things. The system has been in place for millennia, never changing, never wavering. Perhaps it is time to change. In the last year we have already made changes, the first ever recorded High Ladies are here, things are already moving forwards. We need to do so to or we will fall.<br/>"It is true that we are the only ones who can protect them but that does not mean we should rule over them as we do now." Beron was almost spitting with rage as Helion and Thesan nodded their agreement and Rhys and I offered a small smile to Tarquin. Tamlin and Kallias still said nothing and Viviane stared incredulously at her mate, "Kallias. What the fuck is wrong with you? You would side with the males who lock their equals up as treasured prizes because they want to feel that they have control?" The High Lord of Winter turned to look at his High Lady, "There is a way things are done Viv, it's too late to change now." A harsh laugh worked its way out of my throat.<br/>"The second High Lord in history to make his mate his High Lady does not like change. I thought better of you Kallias." Viviane sneered at her mate and turned to me,<br/>"Thankfully as High Lady I have control of half of his troops and the same authority as him. I'll join you. The Winter Court does not deserve a coward as its High Lord." In a matter of minutes we had just witnessed a court divide in two, watched a mate turn on her soul bonded. I smiled at Viviane then and I didn't hide the sorrow in my eyes. She smiled back and then stood up, coming to take a seat beside Mor. Never looking at her mate once.</p><p>And then Lucien stood up and for the first time since I'd known him I saw him turn around to Tamlin, standing tall and proud. Not subdued, not bowing to his High Lord, "You are a coward Tamlin. You always have been and if you think you can use fear as a form of control then you are an idiot. There is a reason the Night Court has seen little rebellion because they rule with genuine love and concern for their subjects. I am going to my mate and I am going to fix the wrongs you have made." Tamlin looked forlorn and I did not miss the desperate sorrow in his eyes that he quickly covered as he spat at his old friends feet. Beron stood up then, "You will not join the Night Court. Not while I or any of your brothers live. You will fight along side us or the same will happen to you as happened to your petty lover." The entire room stilled then and if it hadn't been for the enforced wards I swear Lucien would have ripped out the males throat. Eris laughed and I wasn't entirely sure who he was laughing at until he turned to his father, "You can't order him around though. Can you? You aren't his father. In fact he has no blood connection to you at all. It took me a while to figure it out, in fact I only realised because I heard Rhys and his beloved mate talking about it but it seems that the Day Court will not live without an heir." Beron froze and I swore the Lady of Autumn had actually shrunk, curling into herself to get out of sight of her mate. Across the room Helion looked like he'd just been hit by an avalanche and Lucien's expression was not all that different. </p><p>I coughed and stood up, "Well it seems that our thoughts have been said and our sides decided. I think we'll leave you to... sort this out although if the Lady of Autumn wouldn't mind joining us, I would rather you didn't kill her Beron." I walked forwards and took her from the High Lord of Autumn's side before he could stop me and gestured for everyone to leave the room. Apart from those involved in the. Discovery. </p><p>We all went our separate ways then. Kallias, Thesan, Tarquin and Tamlin back to their respective courts and Viviane followed closely behind her mate, saying as she went, "I better make sure he doesn't remove all my rights before I have a chance to gather at least a few thousand troops." I consolingly touched her shoulder and Mor hugged her before she winnowed away.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
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    <p>The streets of Velaris were unusually quiet as we walked back home, a few fae came to greet us and ask about Kai and we promised to bring him out once he was old enough but very few walked through the city. It was as if the war we all knew was coming had draped a solemn vale over the bright homes.</p><p>Azriel and Mor took the Lady of Autumn to the House of Wind, giving her the room next to Lucien's old room and gave her all the basic rules but made it incredibly clear that she is in no way our prisoner, that she could remain there as long as she wanted and that we were doing it to keep her safe from her husbands inevitable wrath.</p><p>None of us spoke much as Rhys and Cass collapsed in front of the fire, Kai was sleeping in our room when I went to check on him and I smiled slightly at the sight of his midnight hair, so like his Fathers. I placed a kiss on his forehead and went to rejoin the others. They'd found a bottle of something or other and I tutted as I slumped down next to Nesta.<br/>"What?" Cassian asked, sounding slightly offended and I rolled my eyes,<br/>"One of these days you are going to die from drinking to much alcohol." The Illyrian Warrior laughed and replied,<br/>"If that happens I will gladly accept a 'told you so' over my dead body." We all smiled at that and Amren sat forwards in her chair,<br/>"That was... unexpected." The disbelief in her voice was something new and Rhys sighed and nodded,<br/>"Beron was obviously not going to be happy and Tamlin.. well he likes to be contradictory but Kallias? That was a surprise, and what Viviane did. Well it's not unsurprising but I was not expecting it."<br/>"And what the fuck was Eris doing listening in on our conversations, beside what the hell does he gain from announcing to the everyone that Lucien is Helion's son? It's not like it is going to get him the throne any quicker... unless he wants Helion and Beron to get into some big fight hat may end up killing his father." Everyone looked slightly concerned at the thought of that but Azriel said to me, "Helion is a smart male, smart enough to realise the reason behind Eris doing what he did and Beron is smart enough to understand that if he fought on our territory it would not be against the rules for him to be forced to step down from the role of High Lord and pass it onto one of his sons."<br/>"That can happen? I thought a High Lord had to die for the succession to be passed on."<br/>"It is incredibly rare and has only happened once in recorded history but if one High Lord kills another and lives to tell the tale then they are... encouraged to step down and pass on their leadership to their heir."<br/>"Huh."</p><p>We lounged about for hours, talking, Cassian even decided to sing to Kai when I brought him down which ended up with my son crying and Mor very unceremoniously choking back a laugh. Eventually we received word that the issue between Beron, Helion and Lucien had been somewhat resolved and that the Heir to the Day Court had gone to the House of Wind to be with his mother. Nesta and Cassian spent the entire time subconsciously flirting while pretending to fight which Rhys found to be an endless source of amusement and I had to give him several subtle kicks under the table to stop him commenting. </p><p>A week passed and nothing much happened and then we got a letter saying that our, well I guess our allies, had prepared to meet and discuss strategies the next day, we were to meet at the House of Wind and get ready for a rather long day. </p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter Twenty</h2></a>
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    <p>A room had been prepared in the lower parts of the House of Wind, we had invited the Lady of Autumn to come along but she had refused, I don't think she had any particular wish to see her son or Helion at this particular moment.</p>
<p>The room was by no means as magnificent as the one in the palace but then again this meeting was not about showing off. I bought Kai along, not wanting to leave him with Nuala and Cerridwen again. He had gained some semblance of control over when his wings appeared but it was going to take a good few years for him to have some sort of basic control of his powers, we didn't even fully know what they were although Rhys suspected mainly night with small parts from each court, no where near as much as I had but the night more than made up for it. Madja agreed but it would be a while before we could be certain.</p>
<p>Luckily we weren't kept waiting and they all arrived around the same time. Viviane came first and took a seat beside Mor. She looked absolutely exhausted and incredibly upset, now was not a good time to have a falling out, if you could call it that, with your mate. Helion and Lucien arrived together looking very uncomfortable but at least they weren't trying to murder each other, in reality Lucien was probably slightly relieved that his father wasn't the man who had murdered his lover. Tarquin came in last, closely followed by Varian and Cresseida, the former making sure to sit next to Amren.</p>
<p>Rhys spoke first, "We must avoid a war at all costs, we already lost too much in the last war, we cannot afford to lose thousands more lives to settle a dispute that should be easily solvable," He leaned back in his chair, "If they start a war we will be vulnerable, there are other kingdoms out there, kingdoms who are scared for the moment but as soon as we show a sign of weakness they will come swooping in and we will not stand a chance. We keep our armies ready but we will not start a fight, not with this much at stake."<br/>"I agree wholeheartedly but what happens when the public executions start? What happens when they start to massacre their own people? Do we stand by and watch as three courts crumble in on themselves? Because people will die if we don't." Viviane stared straight into our souls, her gaze so fierce it was a wonder we didn't all catch fire. Or freeze.<br/>"It seems innocent people will be killed whatever path we choose but we cannot let a path be chosen for us because if it is then it is certain that countless people will die, on both sides." I'm not sure what I was trying to say and everyone remained silent, thinking.<br/>"Couldn't we just?" Lucien imitated slitting his throat and we all stared at him in shock, "What? It would stop the threat before it even became a threat."<br/>"First of all it is already a threat, second that is evil and third the only one that has an heir is Beron, we cannot afford to lose two courts, that could cause a whole other war just by itself and Beron's children aren't much better than he is." Lucien glared at me but ultimately conceded, "What if we try and stop the rebels? Or move people who could be in danger into a safer court?" I was going to say more but we were interrupted by a messenger running over to Az and whispering something in his ear and then quickly leaving and Az in turn leaned over to whisper something into Rhys's ear who relayed the message to me. We looked at each other and then back at the people gathered around us and I stood up,<br/>"I am so incredibly sorry about this but we have an... issue, not concerning this particular matter but we have to leave. We should hopefully be back with you soon." I smiled slightly and the entire Inner Circle stood up and we left the room and winnowed into the depths of the mountains.</p>
<p>Mor handed us all thick coats and had the time of her life putting a mini one on Kai and we began trekking up the mountain, the... anomaly had created some kind of barrier that prevented anyone from winnowing within three miles of it. We walked for maybe an hour and the second we saw it we stopped dead in our tracks. There was a tear, not in the mountain, or the trees. No a tear in the middle of an open clearing, just hanging there and if that wasn't enough, on the other side lay a forest, green and full of life and another clearing and in the distance, just visible through the trees lay a city, standing proud and tall and at it's center stood a gorgeous castle, so wholly different from the kind that stood in our own lands.<br/>"This isn't our world." It wasn't a question but Rhys answered anyway,<br/>"No, but I know which world it is."</p>
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  <b>I know this is short and I am so sorry that it has taken me such a long time to get this chapter out but after seeing that ACOTAR is being turned into a tv show I got a sudden spark of inspiration and this is probably not the direction a lot of you wanted this story to go in and I know I'm changing the plot but honestly I wrote myself into a corner, I couldn't see how the rest of the story was going to play out and hopefully with this I can move on and actually update on a vaguely regular basis. It has just been a mix of focusing on my Star Wars fic which has been requiring a lot of research and re watching stuff and school and honestly very little motivation but please please feel free to yell at me in the comments just to remind me to get moving and get writing and I sincerely apologize for the lack of updates. I promise I'm trying. Xx<b></b></b>
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